Extra-Altearian weirdos
by Saluzozette
Summary: As far as he knew what was going on, the Big Bang would have been happening in his brain that Lance wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. He felt like crap.


As far as he knew what was going on, the Big Bang would have been happening in his brain that Lance wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. He felt like crap. His heart was pounding against his ribs, his stomach was having a party on its own, and his head felt like it was about to burst.

Lance shifted uncomfortably. Was he on the floor? Sitting up felt like an Herculean task, but he managed it somehow, but not without giving his fair share of moaning and grunting all the way up. He was definitely on the floor. Right next to him was Hunk, still soundly asleep. They were in the control room, Lance realised. Shiro, Pidge and Keith were spread on the couches like three big breathing mops. There were empty bottles scattered all around the place. Lance started to put the pieces back together.

They had been partying last night, celebrating the one year anniversary of their mission. There had been a lot of foreign alcohol and food. At least it explained the throbbing pain in Lance's head. He really didn't feel well. He might – No, wait, scratch that, he definitely wanted to throw up. If the whole process of sitting up had been slow and painful, Lance practically teleported himself from the control room to the nearest exit sas. He gave up on his last meal he couldn't remember anyway, cleaned his mouth on his sleeve – Yes, yerk, but he had nothing else, ok? – step out of the sas and weackly waved goodbye to the vomit being ejected into space. He could come back to clean later. For now he needed to sleep some more.

He could have gone to his cabin, but he wasn't awake enough at this point to think things through. Instead, his feet led him back to the control room where he settled on the floor once more and cuddled with his best friend. Hunk made absolutely no sound of protest.

Lance's eyes were closed for what felt like two minutes when his world suddenly exploded. The light lit and Allura's voice bloomed all over the place, fresh, happy and powerful.

"Everybody up, up, up!" She sing-sang and it sounded like a hundred of people were actually shouting in Lance's ears. "Enough sleeping. We have a lot to do."

For his defence, Lance was far from the only one who cried in agony. His eyes were burning, his head was throbbing, and Allura was speaking so loud! So loud...

"I hate you." Pidge muttered to the princess, her voice weak but definite.

"No you don't." Allura retorted as her hands flew above the control panel, oblivious of her friends' state.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I do." Pidge asserted, wailing when she sat up a bit too fast. "You have no idea what you've just done."

"Please," Hunk sighted, both his hands pressing his forehead. "Please stop talking. My head is about to explode."

"What is going on with you all?" Allura asked, having eventually realised something wasn't right. "Are you guys sick?"

"Something like that." Shiro muttered.

They were all sitting now, except for Keith, who had put his jacket on top of his head and was whining softly.

"Oh my god, Coran!" Allura shouted and it could as well have been the end of the world for the Paladins.

"Nooooo..." Pidge cried.

"Why would you do that?" Lance asked desperately.

"Do you hate us?" Hung shuddered.

"Of course not. You are sick, and I don't know anything about humans. Coran can help you."

"We're not sick." Shiro retorted a bit sharply.

"But you said..."

Coran entered the room and greeted them loudly, earning some aggressive moans from everybody.

"What is the matter?" He asked, surprised by the cold shoulder treatment he was receiving.

"I think they're sick, but Shiro pretends they're not." The princess explained. "They seem to be in pain when exposed to loud sounds."

"For fuck's sake, don't you know what an hangover is?" Keith protested as loud as he dared. It was the first time he spoke this they woke up.

"I don't know what that word means." Allura admitted after a mere second, while Coran frantically typed on his know-it-all encyclopedic device.

"It seemed that after a strong dose of alcohol, humans can sometimes experience headache, an over-sensibility to light and loud sounds, and a need to empty their stomachs. It usually fades in a day, but it can sometimes take longer."

"Are you seriously telling me that you extraterrestrial weirdos don't have hangovers?" Pidge asked, bemused.

"First of all, you are the extra-altearian weirdos," Allura retorted. "Secondly, Coran, how do we cure them? We have a lot to do today."

"You aren't curing anything," Keith answered in place of Coran. "I'm just gonna sleep it off, thank you very much."

He got up as fast as he could and stumbled out of the room.

"Where is he going?" Allura asked. "We need him here."

"No, _you_ need _us_ here." Pidge retorted, following Keith lead. "But as for me, I'm not doing a damn thing until my head stops trying to spontaneously combust. Good night everyone."

As she disappeared, Lance felt the call of his bed stronger than ever before. It took him a mere second to make up his mind.

"Nothing like sleep to cure a hangover, Allura." He told the princess. "Believe an extra-altearian weirdo's words. See you later folks."

He shuffled to his room and let himself sink into his mattress. Later he would ask for the names of all the alcohols he had drink, and would pick a date for the next party, but right now, he had another task at hand. He had a major hungover to sleep off.


End file.
